it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
