her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
