More tranny stories later!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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