I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
