Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
