thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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