Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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