I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
