I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
