I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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