I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
