Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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