I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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