If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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