So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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