She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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