If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize