I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
