when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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