You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
wow bdsm is so cute
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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