I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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