Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
