Michael Bay diarrhea
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
