My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
