I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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