a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
