Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
