OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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