my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people