I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
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buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married