weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots