so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT