is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
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Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company