IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
