Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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