I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i need to put some appletini on your dick
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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