So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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