I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
