Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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