girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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