first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
