please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
