I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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