This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We got so high we made milksteak
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
