God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
