I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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