Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
