U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
