oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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