like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
