just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
