Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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