you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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