He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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