I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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