I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize