so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
