tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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