Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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