Your face is a jimmy john
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
