come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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