Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.