a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.